So I havent updated this thing over a month now...I dont think anyone even reads this anyway.
So last week I went to California and it was a lot of fun. I wish I was still there. I had a really awesome company while I was there and it felt really good to spend a lot of time with her again.
Of course afterwards turned into the same shit from before, sometimes I dont get why people just resent me with so much passion, I just dont understand, it hurts like hell though. I mean Ive never thought I was a bad person, I know I have my problems, but I didnt know I did things to deserve to be treated the way some people close to me do. And I thought after going out of my way, and making a lot of sacrifices for someone I really care about and just wanted to do something really nice and out of the ordinary for them because I know life has been getting them down a lot, I would at least get some sort of kindness or greatfulness in return. Instead I get treated like shit, like I didnt make one of the biggest sacrifices of my life to just show someone I want to do anything possible to make them happy even for a second. Maybe Im just being selfish and asking for something I dont deserve, I jest feel really hurt and let down.
Lets see here, what else is new...I CANT wait for school to just be over, Im so burnt out by it. I cant remember anything else good other than what I did this past weekend so I guess nothing else is worth writing about.
Friday I went to Looptopia with Alecia. I got SOAKED waiting for her but after the rain stopped it was gorgeous out the whole night. I filled up pepsi bottles with rum in the open while waiting too and felt really weird. We walked around for a while and decided it was boring and went to go see Iron Man over by navy pier. I guess it wasnt horrible, but it was pretty damn corny, she liked it though. After watching that and consuming a good portion of rum we walked back to the Loop and met up with some of her friends, walked around a lot, ended up by navy pier again, walked down the lake path and then for some reason took the red line all the way up to Belmont and walked like 5 miles to see a guy spit on the floor and play with a dog and then we left her friends. We got back to her place at like 7 in the morning and ended up sleeping til 3. I ran some errands with her and we ate and then I went home really pooped.
Yesterday my dad decided to cut down and burn every tree and bush in the backyard and it was one of the most exhausting days of my life, Im so full of cuts and scrapes and cant get that bond fire smell out of my hair.
Right now I just made brownies with my little cousin and doing this while they bake.
Im gonna try to update this more often.
EDIT:
Found out I cant make brownies.
Also this was supposed to be posted a few days ago.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Man I'm so bored on spring break.
It's so weird that like 90% of the people I was hanging out with last year I never see anymore, its funny how easily friends stop caring.
Last week I went with Shannon to see An Albatross, I havent cared for that band in about 5 years and I remember why.
That was one of the last times Im gonna be able to hang out with Shannon though so that was good, I'll miss seeing her around.
I need a keg of Killer Kowalski at my house at all times.
I think Im gonna do critical mass and see Aids Wolf on friday.
Then saturday is Shannon's going away party.
I dont know what Im gonna do for the next 2 days other than sit around.
I wish this fucking temp agency would quit getting my hopes up.
My parents are going out of town next week which means 4 things.
1. I wont have to deal with my dad.
2. I can clean up my messes at my own pace.
3. My brother and his idiot stoner friends and perfume drenched girlfriend will be in the house at all times making a mess and eating all the food.
4. I have to decide if I want to have people over, but do I even have friends anymore?
I really need to get this new job thing going so I can get the fuck out of this house, its literally killing me.
I should go for a long night time bike ride.
I probably wont.
Pickle Surprise.
It's so weird that like 90% of the people I was hanging out with last year I never see anymore, its funny how easily friends stop caring.
Last week I went with Shannon to see An Albatross, I havent cared for that band in about 5 years and I remember why.
That was one of the last times Im gonna be able to hang out with Shannon though so that was good, I'll miss seeing her around.
I need a keg of Killer Kowalski at my house at all times.
I think Im gonna do critical mass and see Aids Wolf on friday.
Then saturday is Shannon's going away party.
I dont know what Im gonna do for the next 2 days other than sit around.
I wish this fucking temp agency would quit getting my hopes up.
My parents are going out of town next week which means 4 things.
1. I wont have to deal with my dad.
2. I can clean up my messes at my own pace.
3. My brother and his idiot stoner friends and perfume drenched girlfriend will be in the house at all times making a mess and eating all the food.
4. I have to decide if I want to have people over, but do I even have friends anymore?
I really need to get this new job thing going so I can get the fuck out of this house, its literally killing me.
I should go for a long night time bike ride.
I probably wont.
Pickle Surprise.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I Hale From Under Growth
Does anyone even read this thing? I set it up so anyone can comment, hmmm.
Its 6:13 am, I woke up a little early, I have to leave soon to go babysit and go to class and I decided I'd kill time on this.
Thursday I went to go see The Chinese Stars and it was one of the best shows Ive been to in years. I kept nicely heckling Eric Paul during the set and he called me a "naughty boy" and then told me I was a retard when I said "arab on radar was the greatest band that ever existed!" at the end of the set. Immediately after he signed the book of his I bought, but I cant read what it says! Anyone got an idea? All I can read is "To Alex, Think "..." xo Eric Paul"
After the show Wheeler, Shannon, Justin, Blake, Anna and myself went to Rainbo, I hate that place so much, tons of hipsters crammed into a stuffy room with a crappy beer selection. I got really drunk though and I think I gave Mr. Tamales 5 extra bucks for some reason. Blake, Wheeler and myself drove Justin home and I crammed like 10 tamales into my fat face. After dropping off Justin we went to Estelle's and Shannon met us there and we hung out til 3 or so. Then me and Wheeler hopped on the blue line all the way up to Rosemont and went to his girlfriend(woman)'s place. I didnt fall asleep until 10 in the morning and then was awoken at 12.
After figuring out a buncha crap early in the morning I told Kendra that I would play a show with her that night. So that afternoon I made the trek back to the city from Des Plaines filthy after dancing at a show and going to a buncha scuzzy bars and sleeping with cats and Kendra picked me up at Damen with a sweet ass rental car. Stopped at her place, went all the way down to Flossmoor, loaded up the car with like 600 pounds of music equipment and made it to the place we were playing 2 hours late and hopped up on caffeine.
So this place we were playing, Halfway House, had 3 fucking flights of stairs. Now Ive moved a lot of gear in my life, electric organs, drum sets, the ridiculous refrigerator of a bass cab I used to play, but this was definitely one of the most exhausting gear load Ive made, but somehow It was the least amount of gear I used, 2 small cabs, 2 synths, 2 amp heads, 2 duffel bags, 3 keyboard stands, 1 keyboard, 1 guitar, 1 bass.
So there was 2 bands ahead of us so I rested up and chugged some beer before we went on. We set up which took a little longer than I expected because I had no time to get my gear together beforehand and just shoved a ton of cords into a bag. And we played, and it went really well. I kept getting distracted while playing because these dudes kept coming up right in from of my synths and pointing at my hands when I would make a certain sound, it was really weird. But it was awesome! I'm so happy Kendra asked me to play, I needed to play some live music since I havent in a few months. Hopefully there will be more to come.
A seldom seen acquaintance, DJ of Lair of The Minotaur and 7000 Dying Rats played as well that night and his band was awesome.
I got home at like 4 in the morning exhausted, sore, covered in shoe polish and feeling really good. I got a great nights sleep since I had been up for about 3 days.
Its 6:13 am, I woke up a little early, I have to leave soon to go babysit and go to class and I decided I'd kill time on this.
Thursday I went to go see The Chinese Stars and it was one of the best shows Ive been to in years. I kept nicely heckling Eric Paul during the set and he called me a "naughty boy" and then told me I was a retard when I said "arab on radar was the greatest band that ever existed!" at the end of the set. Immediately after he signed the book of his I bought, but I cant read what it says! Anyone got an idea? All I can read is "To Alex, Think "..." xo Eric Paul"
After the show Wheeler, Shannon, Justin, Blake, Anna and myself went to Rainbo, I hate that place so much, tons of hipsters crammed into a stuffy room with a crappy beer selection. I got really drunk though and I think I gave Mr. Tamales 5 extra bucks for some reason. Blake, Wheeler and myself drove Justin home and I crammed like 10 tamales into my fat face. After dropping off Justin we went to Estelle's and Shannon met us there and we hung out til 3 or so. Then me and Wheeler hopped on the blue line all the way up to Rosemont and went to his girlfriend(woman)'s place. I didnt fall asleep until 10 in the morning and then was awoken at 12.
After figuring out a buncha crap early in the morning I told Kendra that I would play a show with her that night. So that afternoon I made the trek back to the city from Des Plaines filthy after dancing at a show and going to a buncha scuzzy bars and sleeping with cats and Kendra picked me up at Damen with a sweet ass rental car. Stopped at her place, went all the way down to Flossmoor, loaded up the car with like 600 pounds of music equipment and made it to the place we were playing 2 hours late and hopped up on caffeine.
So this place we were playing, Halfway House, had 3 fucking flights of stairs. Now Ive moved a lot of gear in my life, electric organs, drum sets, the ridiculous refrigerator of a bass cab I used to play, but this was definitely one of the most exhausting gear load Ive made, but somehow It was the least amount of gear I used, 2 small cabs, 2 synths, 2 amp heads, 2 duffel bags, 3 keyboard stands, 1 keyboard, 1 guitar, 1 bass.
So there was 2 bands ahead of us so I rested up and chugged some beer before we went on. We set up which took a little longer than I expected because I had no time to get my gear together beforehand and just shoved a ton of cords into a bag. And we played, and it went really well. I kept getting distracted while playing because these dudes kept coming up right in from of my synths and pointing at my hands when I would make a certain sound, it was really weird. But it was awesome! I'm so happy Kendra asked me to play, I needed to play some live music since I havent in a few months. Hopefully there will be more to come.
A seldom seen acquaintance, DJ of Lair of The Minotaur and 7000 Dying Rats played as well that night and his band was awesome.
I got home at like 4 in the morning exhausted, sore, covered in shoe polish and feeling really good. I got a great nights sleep since I had been up for about 3 days.
Monday, March 3, 2008
So out of the blue she sends me a John Deere letter
So I havent written a blog in a while because my computer charger broke and it took forever for my new one to arrive here. I have other computers in the house but I cant seem to want to type a blog unless I'm on my own computer.
Ive been keeping busy lately, mostly making sure I get all my homework done and done well, hanging out with a couple people from school, which is weird since I dont talk to anyone at school.
I think I need to cut back on my drinking, last saturday I had a really rough night to say the least. Tim Tate and myself went to see Quintron and Miss Pussycat. Before that we ate at Handlebar and had some beers and some food. Then we went to the show, and I talked to Shannon for a bit outside the Logan Square Auditorium, got in as soon as Quintron was setting up, drank more and left right after they got done playing. Sonotech was having an after party for the show and Quintron was gonna DJ so we went there. I dont know why we went there since we left the show early and no one would be showing up for a while. Anyway, that place sucked so bad, it was a buncha leather couches and stuck up yuppies, but drank more of course and left. We went to Cobra after that, Blake was bartending so I got a buncha free shots and cheap beers. for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to drink Jameson like fucking water, needless to say I had way too much.
I remember leaving Cobra and getting into the cab, but the next thing I remember is waking up on Tim's couch at 10 the next morning. I suprisingly woke up with a minimal hangover at best, just felt dehydrated. I got up and got a glass of water, but when I came back I noticed something odd, there was a stain on the floor. Then I look on the coffee table and it seemed to be smeared with something and my hoodie was sitting on it covered in puke. I guess I puked all over the table and tried to clean it up with my hoodie. I felt so embarassed and I cleaned everything up as best I could, I felt so bad for Tim and his roommate.
I feel really uncomfortable that I dont remember a single thing for 8 hours of my life that night, its very confusing and scary to me. I can usually handle my liquor very well, and have only blacked out once before in my life, when I was 17. And on top of that if I do ever puke from drinking its because I made myself, like my body usually tells me "ok dude, you had to much, get this out of me". I never get to the point where I black out and puke out of nowhere all over my friend's nice coffee table.
Anyway, back to other things in my life, unfortunately things with Alecia didnt work out as well as I had hoped, that was short. Ummm, what else is new, oh yeah. So the temp agency I applied to is getting me a job for some financial company. Its gonna be weird working a desk job again, I havent had one since being a clerk for the Sheriff's Police like 4 years ago. I guess I'm gonna be doing admin work and "financial research"(whatever that means) for a small financial company. The starting pay is decent, 29 a year, so its an offer I cant refuse, but just thinking about working full time and going to school full time again is giving me a headache all ready, and I dont know how Im gonna do it this time. My last job allowed me to do homework while I was working but this one isnt gonna work out that well.
I think thats all Im gonna blog about today.
Ive been keeping busy lately, mostly making sure I get all my homework done and done well, hanging out with a couple people from school, which is weird since I dont talk to anyone at school.
I think I need to cut back on my drinking, last saturday I had a really rough night to say the least. Tim Tate and myself went to see Quintron and Miss Pussycat. Before that we ate at Handlebar and had some beers and some food. Then we went to the show, and I talked to Shannon for a bit outside the Logan Square Auditorium, got in as soon as Quintron was setting up, drank more and left right after they got done playing. Sonotech was having an after party for the show and Quintron was gonna DJ so we went there. I dont know why we went there since we left the show early and no one would be showing up for a while. Anyway, that place sucked so bad, it was a buncha leather couches and stuck up yuppies, but drank more of course and left. We went to Cobra after that, Blake was bartending so I got a buncha free shots and cheap beers. for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to drink Jameson like fucking water, needless to say I had way too much.
I remember leaving Cobra and getting into the cab, but the next thing I remember is waking up on Tim's couch at 10 the next morning. I suprisingly woke up with a minimal hangover at best, just felt dehydrated. I got up and got a glass of water, but when I came back I noticed something odd, there was a stain on the floor. Then I look on the coffee table and it seemed to be smeared with something and my hoodie was sitting on it covered in puke. I guess I puked all over the table and tried to clean it up with my hoodie. I felt so embarassed and I cleaned everything up as best I could, I felt so bad for Tim and his roommate.
I feel really uncomfortable that I dont remember a single thing for 8 hours of my life that night, its very confusing and scary to me. I can usually handle my liquor very well, and have only blacked out once before in my life, when I was 17. And on top of that if I do ever puke from drinking its because I made myself, like my body usually tells me "ok dude, you had to much, get this out of me". I never get to the point where I black out and puke out of nowhere all over my friend's nice coffee table.
Anyway, back to other things in my life, unfortunately things with Alecia didnt work out as well as I had hoped, that was short. Ummm, what else is new, oh yeah. So the temp agency I applied to is getting me a job for some financial company. Its gonna be weird working a desk job again, I havent had one since being a clerk for the Sheriff's Police like 4 years ago. I guess I'm gonna be doing admin work and "financial research"(whatever that means) for a small financial company. The starting pay is decent, 29 a year, so its an offer I cant refuse, but just thinking about working full time and going to school full time again is giving me a headache all ready, and I dont know how Im gonna do it this time. My last job allowed me to do homework while I was working but this one isnt gonna work out that well.
I think thats all Im gonna blog about today.
Friday, February 22, 2008
My armpits smell
So I still havent finished cleaning, and its driving me nuts but I just cant make myself finish. I'm making a promise to myself that I'll have it all done by the end of the weekend.
I spent all last night doing laundry and sewing my hole-ridden clothes. It took about 6 hours to do it all but I feel really relieved that I got all my laundry done. I pretty much washed every article of clothing I own and all of my sheets and blankets. I didnt sleep much at all so I was really tired for class.
Tuesday I hung out with Alecia and had a lot of fun, we ate mediocre sushi, watched like 5 movies and drank too much whiskey. I didnt sleep much and left her place at 6am to get to Beverly. I felt bad I couldnt do much with Carmen but I was so tired I couldnt keep my eyes open. I made her watch a bunch of movies and I fell asleep on the couch even though she kept waking me up ever 10 mins to ask me something.
These friday nights at home are getting kinda boring. I was supposed to get dinner with Didi but she couldnt get a car so it's home alone again. I wonder if I'll make myself leave the house this weekend, I kinda want to take a break from drinking for a few days though, my stomach is telling me to take it easy and I think I should listen.
This video clip is really sad and funny at the same time. Its pretty funny at first but then you can tell this kid probably has a lot of problems and then the people in it antagonize him a little too much and thats sad as well:
I spent all last night doing laundry and sewing my hole-ridden clothes. It took about 6 hours to do it all but I feel really relieved that I got all my laundry done. I pretty much washed every article of clothing I own and all of my sheets and blankets. I didnt sleep much at all so I was really tired for class.
Tuesday I hung out with Alecia and had a lot of fun, we ate mediocre sushi, watched like 5 movies and drank too much whiskey. I didnt sleep much and left her place at 6am to get to Beverly. I felt bad I couldnt do much with Carmen but I was so tired I couldnt keep my eyes open. I made her watch a bunch of movies and I fell asleep on the couch even though she kept waking me up ever 10 mins to ask me something.
These friday nights at home are getting kinda boring. I was supposed to get dinner with Didi but she couldnt get a car so it's home alone again. I wonder if I'll make myself leave the house this weekend, I kinda want to take a break from drinking for a few days though, my stomach is telling me to take it easy and I think I should listen.
This video clip is really sad and funny at the same time. Its pretty funny at first but then you can tell this kid probably has a lot of problems and then the people in it antagonize him a little too much and thats sad as well:
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Help me.
Holy fucking god I'm so hungover, I seriously havent had this bad of a hangover in years.
Last night I went to the brewery with Clay and Wheeler, and I drank wayyyy to much for a monday night. Before Wheeler got there I ordered him an appletini, I love ordering Wheeler really weak drinks. Theres something about a guy with long-ass curly hair and a neckbeard drinking an appletini or pina colada that really cracks me up. Clay got way too drunk of course, I think the round of whiskey shots I got for us pushed him over the edge. My favorite bartender, Becky, kept giving me looks like "wow" whenever Clay would say something really weird in his drunkness, which as you may know, is the only time Clay will talk to someone hes not close friends with. I like Becky a lot, she knows my name and what kinda beer I like, she gives me free beer a lot and we like making fun of the same things, we both also get a kick out of Wheeler drinking fruity drinks. Sometimes she puts an umbrella in his beer.
So right now I want to die, I hope this tea and yogurt I'm about to put in my body will help me feel better. I only got 4 hours of sleep because I woke up with horrible stomach pains and was really dehydrated. After laying in bed and getting up every 10 minutes to go dry heave in the toilet I gave up and decided I'm up for the day. I'm gonna meet Alecia this afternoon and were gonna go to the Russian Circles show tonight. I havent seen them in probably 3 or 4 years, and when I did see them they had a bass player, I hope theyre still good live, they look like hippies now.
I also have to babysit tomorrow, I have to be in Beverly by 730am. Im probably gonna have to leave Alecia's at 5 to get there on time. I'm gonna be so exhausted tomorrow, I'm exhausted now, I dont know how I'm gonna make it. I also hope I feel better soon and dont collapse by tonight.
Last night I went to the brewery with Clay and Wheeler, and I drank wayyyy to much for a monday night. Before Wheeler got there I ordered him an appletini, I love ordering Wheeler really weak drinks. Theres something about a guy with long-ass curly hair and a neckbeard drinking an appletini or pina colada that really cracks me up. Clay got way too drunk of course, I think the round of whiskey shots I got for us pushed him over the edge. My favorite bartender, Becky, kept giving me looks like "wow" whenever Clay would say something really weird in his drunkness, which as you may know, is the only time Clay will talk to someone hes not close friends with. I like Becky a lot, she knows my name and what kinda beer I like, she gives me free beer a lot and we like making fun of the same things, we both also get a kick out of Wheeler drinking fruity drinks. Sometimes she puts an umbrella in his beer.
So right now I want to die, I hope this tea and yogurt I'm about to put in my body will help me feel better. I only got 4 hours of sleep because I woke up with horrible stomach pains and was really dehydrated. After laying in bed and getting up every 10 minutes to go dry heave in the toilet I gave up and decided I'm up for the day. I'm gonna meet Alecia this afternoon and were gonna go to the Russian Circles show tonight. I havent seen them in probably 3 or 4 years, and when I did see them they had a bass player, I hope theyre still good live, they look like hippies now.
I also have to babysit tomorrow, I have to be in Beverly by 730am. Im probably gonna have to leave Alecia's at 5 to get there on time. I'm gonna be so exhausted tomorrow, I'm exhausted now, I dont know how I'm gonna make it. I also hope I feel better soon and dont collapse by tonight.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Emiliooooooooo
God damn my feet are freezing, winter needs to be over, now. I guess were supposed to get a buttload of rain this week too, great, I love sitting in class wet, lovely feeling.
Today I did a lot of cleaning and laundry, and I did it for a long time, but I'm not done and it seems like I didnt make a dent, I really need to stop letting my living space get so ridiculously messy. And I still keep throwing out garbage bags full of just shit every time I clean. I dont even know what 90% of it is, I just know I throw out like 5-8 garbage bags full of crap. Ive been giving so much clothes to salvation army, I just filled up a garbage bag of too-big shirts I never wear, and a ton of threadless shirts I grabbed and have no use for and no one wants, I hope a buncha kids get all pumped that they found brand new threadless shirts at the local salvation army.
Speaking of clothes, while Ive been folding my laundry all day, I noticed that about 8 out of 10 articles of clothing I own are falling apart, covered in holes, fraying edges and lost threads. Then I realized I havent actually bought new clothes, other than a pair of jeans hear and there, in well over a year. Maybe its time I buy a couple new shirts.
Ive been feeling so hermit-y lately, I need to get out more.
Today I did a lot of cleaning and laundry, and I did it for a long time, but I'm not done and it seems like I didnt make a dent, I really need to stop letting my living space get so ridiculously messy. And I still keep throwing out garbage bags full of just shit every time I clean. I dont even know what 90% of it is, I just know I throw out like 5-8 garbage bags full of crap. Ive been giving so much clothes to salvation army, I just filled up a garbage bag of too-big shirts I never wear, and a ton of threadless shirts I grabbed and have no use for and no one wants, I hope a buncha kids get all pumped that they found brand new threadless shirts at the local salvation army.
Speaking of clothes, while Ive been folding my laundry all day, I noticed that about 8 out of 10 articles of clothing I own are falling apart, covered in holes, fraying edges and lost threads. Then I realized I havent actually bought new clothes, other than a pair of jeans hear and there, in well over a year. Maybe its time I buy a couple new shirts.
Ive been feeling so hermit-y lately, I need to get out more.
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